Friday, March 23, 2012

Welcome back Cooter! NMC Live 4/26/2012 Vaudeville Mews. No GDP

New Member charles? Do they still play? I heard the bass player had his arm amputated? Yes the answer is yes. After 4 months of banging our heads against the wall we are playing a musical concert. We have a dozen new songs, a baby, our bass player is missing an arm and new stupid cheap merch that wont sell. 2012 is the year of the hot dog.  Prepare to dig in.

April 26th 10pm At Vaudeville Mews With Terry Malts and Sudden and Subtle. New member charles will launch a 2 hour (actually 35 minute) long musical campaign that will make Clint the acting..and directing.. bar tender and snoopy alike cry tears of honey blossom joy. We will be pissing excitement all over Des Moines Iowa in the form of ghost rock. Dan the drummin drummer will return to the stage with a vigor that will rival the toughest nature animal. Jeff the dog will jump though hoops. Chris fresh of his arm amputation will struggle to play bass but will be wearing his new shoes which is sure to get the ladies just right.  And I will be honest and polite to the audience members about your Uncle Tim. Get your tickets now, tell your dad too, cause dads day is right around the corner and dads love strip clubs. Did we mention Terry Malts kicks ass...they do!

Things were going so good in that last paragraph.

Then theres Gross Domestic Product (GDP). Remember this whiney ass post. Pretty stupid and whiney huh? Well here it is again Al, this is our annual we didn't get into GDP post again. We heard the news late last Month. Dan called and said "Josh...are you setting down Pal?
I responded "Hey Dan, yep I'm cleaning my guitar for the new GDP concert."
"Aw cripes Josh, ya see sometimes things don't turn out the way we plan them. Remember that time you told me how you wanted to be a space traveler?" Dan said.
" Yes Dan, turns out I cannot be one due to my lip scar. Dan what are you getting at?" I Replied.
"We didn't get in josh, we didn't make GDP" Dan Said.
"Then all is lost Dan, Des Moines will not hear the one band to rule them all." Josh said, then hung up and made Macaroni and hotdogs. And watched the extended cut of Fellowship of the Ring.

This cheered me up some as did the Mac and chess with hotdogs.

 Looking back,maybe if Chris wouldn't have lost his goddamn arm we would have got in, we've been trying to get him to stop racing ford trucks for years but he doesn't listen. Rumor has it we were short on webclicks and fans too. I like to think of each of our songs as gross little products for open ears to spoon up, we'll see still holding out for bacon fest.  Good news on the GDP front , our close pals Love Songs For Lonely Monsters did get in, so while there will be no Charles on stage there will be Charles in the crowd watching them and showering them with frankfurters. Oh and Tires will be there too, they are super good as well so we will shower them with frankfurters too. You should do the same... and give us more webclicks too so we can get into one of these festiver shows.

To Recap.
Dan has a baby named Thurston.
New Member Charles is still a band.
Chris has his arm amputated.
April 26th 10pm New Member Charles At Vaudeville Mews With Terry Malts and Sudden and Subtle
Josh cant go to space because his lip scar
We didn't have enough web clicks to get into Gross Domestic Product
Sasquatch Beef sticks taste like shitty cat food.

May Our Children Forgive Us -Bill Poleman "Independent Day"