Monday, January 24, 2011

Shelves!! And, also, Hi Charles!!

So, I've been getting a flood of mail here into Charles-ville in regard to the move the guys made, and I'm sorry for the late response, all of you!! I had to get a MRIcro-scope on the big toe on my left foot (and also the ring-finger toe on my right foot) due to over-exertion. See, I had joined a raquetball league as a NewYears Resolution. I lasted about three points into the second game, after sitting out a week after injuring my knee about three points into the first game. I lost a whole SIX POUNDS!! My final record was 0-2 on the season, but overall I was pleased with my effort. My wife, Julie South Johnson also baked me two pies for each one of my losses!! And it took me a whole three days to gain the weight back!! Success tastes great!! I can't wait to do it all again next year!!

On to the Charles-Biz!!:

As you know, Josh, Chris and Dan recently moved rehearsal spaces to a more adequate room for their needs (ie: one that wasn't cold as piss). This move was simply from one side of the hallway to the other, but it has left the multiple thousands of thousands of Charles fans around the world wondering, "What of Charles??"

Well, as we all know, Charles is the undead spectre-ghost who, instead of haunting, plays the giovanni keyboard in the awesomely dudical band New Member Charles. Now Charles' place of residence was the old rehearsal room, so the question remains, did Charles follow them into the new practice room??

You bet your sloppy ass he did!!

Just look at that new pic at the top of the page!! Josh was able to get Charles to pose for his new portriat in the new room as a welcome gift. I'm sure it was just like that scene in Titanic. You know the one...where Billy Zane is a dick (but is still kind of cool) and saves the day by strapping on the jetpack and flying everyone to safety. Of course, I have never seen the movie Titanic, but that's how my best friend Chip told me the movie ends. I ate too many Goobers and fell asleep during the previews. I remember thinking, "I can't wait to see Lethal Weapon 4!!" And I still can't wait!! Chip says it's great!!

Also, Dan Chris and Josh, along with their friend Eric totally built a complex shelving system in the new room to store drums on!! It's complex with two different levels of shelves. Due to my various lowerextremity conditions, I haven't been able to make it over there yet, but Chris assures me that if necessary, the shelves could hold half of my body weight!! That's engineering!!

The guys also took time out of their busy schudle of Rucking the Fuck out of all of you bitches to not only build shelves for the new room, but also to book a show!! That's right!! Multi-taskering!!

You can see New Member Charles at AK O'Connors in Beaverdale (oh, yeah!!) on February 19th with their good friends The Big Tuxedos!!

Gotta run...


Bellwether Johnson

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Shelves!! And, also, Hi GDP!!

A quick salutation to the members of the Des Moines Gross Domestic Product (GDP)/Indie-Rock-Special-Iowa-Bands-Playing-Rock-Music-Jamboroo-Festival for stopping by the blog today!!

You see, GDP is the "premier local showcase for Iowa bands." I told this to Dan, and he said, "duh...that's why we're applying to play there."

This is what I asked myself first: what would a premier showcase of Iowa music talent be without the most awesome ruckingist-fuckingist band featuring a fourth member that is also an undead spectre??

This is what I asked myself second: why would said band even need to apply, since they obviously wouldn't have a festival at all since all of the world-wide New Member Charles fans would instantaneously boycot the festival - therefore crashing the world economy - without New Member Charles' inclusion in said festival??

But, I guess in the interests of fairness, the proveyors of GDP insist that an official submission be made. Josh wanted me to write one up last night, but the rheumatoid arthritis in my carpal tunnels acted up, and I was unable to type or take my cat Muffles the Cat out for a walk (and let me tell you, I have the scratches and the cat dung to prove it!!)

So the guys went ahead and made their submission. And in the submission, they left a link to my fan blog!! Fortunately, I was able to rub enough orange peel on my joints this morning to type this salutation.

So, if the Executive Board of GDP Makers and the entire Selection Oversight Committee in Charge of Competition and Selection are able to walk or even still have a face after listening to New Member Charles for the first time (unlikely):

Hi, How Are You?

Well, all this excitement has left the third-knuckle on my left ring-finger the size of my knee after I tried to play raquetball last week and tripped over my showlace after my first serve...that's right!! Raquetball!! New Years Resolutions!!

And I didn't even get to tell you about the shelves that the guys made for the new rehearsal space last night!! Well, we'll leave that for another time. Right now I've got to go get some more orange-peel and then try to find Muffles the Cat. I think he's in the dryer again. Also, I'm probably gonna have to clean some cat dung out of the dryer.


Bellwether Johnson

Monday, January 10, 2011

New Rehearsal Room

Hidey-ho to y'all out there in Charles-Land!! Along with Charles-Land salutations today comes Charles-Land news!!

Last week, the guys let me know that they were moving to a new rehearsal spot. "Fear not," they told me, "we're just going down the hall, and assure you that any 'Ruck the Fuck' mojo is a product not of the room vibeage in-and-of-itself, but is more due to the near limitless supply of musical and philosophical talent that we as New Member Charles posess."

"Correct!!," I let them know!!

Turns out that the new spot is right accross the hall from the old spot, and the reason for the move was two-fold.

1.) Why the fuck not
2.) Lack of insulation left the old room cold as piss

So, the guys asked me to come out and help them move equippo and then sound-proof the new room. I fear I wasn't much help, as my portly frame precluded my entrance into the new room without the use of a crowbar, and the dust gussied up by the equippo move aggrivated my prior-to dormant case of Lung Gingivitis (one of the more uncomfortable strands of Gingivitis)

Well, needless to say, the move went great and also it went witout a hitch. I hope the guys didn't mind me being there . In fact, when it came down to it, they were glad they had me around, as they were able to test the sound-proofing by putting me in the center of the room and locking the door while I wheezed uncontrolably. I guess all that sound-proofing work worked, becuase it was so quiet outside they forgot that I was even in there. Didn't matter to me though as the complex's vending maching is right next to the room, and I had enough quarters to buy the machine out of Famous Amos cookies prior to lockdown.

To my relief, Chris and Dan came back the next day to measure the room for some storage shelving which they will put together tomorrow with my help!! I just hope the sawing of shelf units goes better than the last time I tried to use a saw when I was least that's what my mom says. I to this day contend that Muffles the Cat enjoyed the rest of his life without a tail. Gave him personality, ya know??


Bellwether Johnson

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

It's Time to Come Clean

Folks, It's time for me, Bellwether Johnson, to be honest with you, the humble denizens of CharlesLand. *sigh* The sound escaping my lungs that I just typed out for journalistic effect is the sound of sorrow and regret for mis-leading the throng of Charles faithful that have been habitating the fluid of the interweb in-and-around the blog of the greatest band in the world: New Member Charles. It is with great aplomb (I don't really know what that word means) that I inform you that I, Bellwether Johnson, faithful Charles scribe, is not who you think he is. No, I am not a "true" member of New Member Charles. I'm not even a "kind-of" member of the band, as my many column inches published on this site might suggest.

No, many of you out there, I am not Chris: awesome bass-ist and all-around lover extrordinaire. I am not Dan: master of the rythm snare, and soul crunching cymbal-boss. And, nay am I Josh: you know, the other dude. No, I'm just a lonely bastard typing along on his laptop, listening to bootlegged copies of the classic Charles hits Jokey Smurf Box and Kitty Cat.

But!! To my great aplomb, the band has learned of my website tribute to them, and they *Yeeee* LOVE IT!! I KNOW!! Now, Josh has been posting on this here site becuase I had been writing, asking for his Charles-pinion (that's a Charles opinion) on certain topics by posing as a hot sexy momma, for which he was powerless to do anything but respond.

Now, this is great, great news. And we'll be sure to have great, great news in the future. But for now, I have to go. My wife says if I type any more about New Member Charles, I might actually turn into New Member Charles.


Your New Member Charles "GHOST"(!!!) Writer,

Bellwether Johnson