Wednesday, November 30, 2011

More Like NickelBaloney!!

Whooo-eee, kiddos. Wonderful tidings from Charles-ville as I find you in super-excito mode today. I know this. How do I know you’re in super-excito mode?? We Got All Reviewed!!

Chad Taylor at Des Moines Cityview, saw it in his infinite wisdom to lake a gander at our lovely soundscape filled journey called Let's Invent The Smell-O-Phone!! The paper of RECORD. Talk'em 'bout US!! Imagine!!

"^Album Cover^"

So, what he have to say?? Take it away, C-Tay:


"If rock was a religion, then New Member Charles’ particular brand of feckless, homogenous bro-rock would be a smarmy priest, creepily sidling up to your poor, altar-boy ears, invading the dark recesses of your brain against your will, and whispering that God will kill your parents if you tell anyone."


Wowzrs!! Pretty Awesome, Huh!! I know!!
Checker out the full review HERE, and be sure to catch your favorite rock band with a ghost as a keyboard player who also has a bassist who gets confused between a review for his own band and a review for Nickleback's latest classic.
"^POOP^"

NEW MEMBER CHARLES WITH THE BIGTUXEODES AND SANTAH AND BEN WANTLAND
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Bellwether Johnson

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

History is Made Tomorrow!

Tomorrow History is made, we are practicing for the first time in 3 weeks and we are excited. In other news  Animals Close up with a Wide Angle Lense.



Happy thanksgivings ghosties!


Hank

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Don't Attack My Last Boy Scout Troop Brian, it Halloween.

Happy National Boys Couts month Ghosties, oh its also our favorite month too Cause halloweens is coming in soon. We have some SHows coming up and wanted to tell you to come watch us show off our chords and notes.



Do you love Delawares, Rainbows and coloring books, Pookey Bleum does, This fri fri we open the late show at the mews headlined by the old school bi fier's and with Wolves in the Attic and Nuclear Rodeo. Show doors are at 9:30 5 bones charles rolls at 1000, there's rumors swirling that Eric Meffet is dressing like an Estimo bear, that'll show em!

Brian, happy 21 bro.

Love Songs for Lonely Monsters  :  New Member Charles  :  Fetal pig
Brian, looking at a dog.
Wait ...who is brian. He plays drums duh. and He is a championship dog judger, a skill he leered while studying with the webos in the Boy Scouts of iowa. He likes running sheep in his free times and chooses not to vote very often. ENough said! COme wish him a happy 21 and bring a present.
OH AND THEN THERES THIS. its a old school halloween goulash jam, sat 10/29 to benefit the dsm social club and best place ever. Costume suits are a must and we recommend you dress like a ghost cat. Charles will be hashing out there set early, around 530ish so get their early, throw down some coin and get your dead leg on.

Thats all for now if you want to setup an interview with our drummer dan let us know and we will get in contact with you. He's a ww3 vet too, but he docent know that yet.

I hope your pets love you all,


Hank Stephenson

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Scout's Honor (Lessons)

1.) Dan:  I was presented the arrow of light in a ceremony that involved the death of many chickens.
rockychicken.jpg

2.) Me: "Stay TUNED And Be Ready To GO" - It's what's the Boy's Scout's slogan's
Pictured: NOT @catocaitlyn

3.) Josh: Tie yor nots Webos or else:
via

Monday, September 26, 2011

Show Boatin' With Hank Stephenson: THE RETURN!!

BALLS and HOLY BALLS, you guys!!

I just got word from good friend and good friend of the blog -- HANK STEPHENSON -- that he is back in town in the old Des Moines, Iowa!!

Now you remember HANK, don't 'cha fellow residents of New Charlesburg?? Well, to refresh your memory, HANK lent his award winning hand at open mics to us trulys a few months back when we ran into an awesome Sopen Mic with our other good friends The Big Tuxedos. HANK, being plastered on plutonium-laced 4Loko, gave a stirring wrap-up of the night's activities, and HANK being the magician that he is, scribbled everthing on papyrus and left it for J to transcribe on our fair blog.

Well, folks, it weems that HANK has gotten his own CPUter and now has a blog of his own!! And what a treat it is!! Here's just some of the things you can see over at "http://www.showboatinwithhank.blogspot.com/"

- The original NMC Sopen Mic post!!
- A detailed History of Music!!
- HANK'S favorite guitars (of all time!!)!!
- A reveiw of a show last month by the WORLD FAMOUS MANTIS PINCERS BAND!!
- Some handy recipies for the coming winter months!!
- A lank to ChuckeeCheese!! (been lookin' everywhere for that)!!

So go support a good golden buddy like HANK, and if ya can chance it.
Show Boatin' ROCKS!!





Bellwether Johnson

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Dan Likes Shark Week

*pssht* man. You don't even know. You see all the ads now, and all of the twitterers talking and gapping their big flapp gums talkin'bout "Oh, damn, man it's SHARK WEEK now, so let's talk about how much we like learning about SHARKS on the Discovery TV Channel *muuuweeeeh* look at me I'm so special; and SHARKS." Text Color

Please. I've been watching SHARK WEEK since I was a kid man. You don't have any idea.

- I still have my 3D glasses from that episode back in two-thousand (2000) when they had the 3D extinct giant SHARK all like in your grill.

- I was there in two-thousand-five (2005) when the American Chopper guys were all like, "Let's learn about SHARKS and motorcycles together, JABRONI"


Let's learn about SHARKS and motorcycles together, JABRONI


- I remember the MythBusters JAWS special when MythBuster Carrie was impregnated by a SHARK

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Oh, Hey Look...New Show

We're pretty busy beavers over here in Charles-ville. So much so that we recently said to ourselves, "hey, us, is there any way we could step in at the last minute and save the day for our pals LS4LM??" Well, they are currently -- them being of urgent straits and all (It has a lot to do with the law and various other lawyerings) -- unable to play an upcoming show.

So they were all, "meh??" and we were all, "dude," and BOOM, that's that.

Oh, so when is the shindig of which I just mentioned a scant two breathless seconds ago?? How 'bout July 27th (that's like, tomorrow, dude) with Colormusic and Morning Teleportation.

This will be the opportunity you've been waiting for to show off all your crazy Charles-merch and Razlets. And you can even bring that fine lass you courted due to the spot-on Stylo provided by sporting that NMC tee (tee-shirt) that you got at the EP RELEASE SHOW AKA CD RELEASE SHOW and wore like every day until she did your laundary for you last week because dude it was like 200 degrees and sweat can be smelled by people.


Friday, July 22, 2011

REQUIEM FOR A BASS AMP


“Aaaaaaaaaaand it's toast. Dude called last night said it's gonzo. 2nd channel is busted too. Said I could part it out for a hundee online if I'm lucky. Either way, we get to tear it apart and look at its Sony Guts and HULK SMASH if we feel like it. Said something about running it on mono bridge ([??] or something) blew it out. I think he was speaking gibberish. Oh wellzers. New Amp To The Future!!"


"calculations"

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Tiger Woods Is Thinking What You're Thinking, Because He's Also Thinking What We're Thinking, Which Is "Hot Dogs!!"

(And Also, Hope Solo)

Up there in the title of this here post is what I like to call the Tiger Woods Corolary To The Transverse Property Of Hotdogs or The Transverse Property Of Hot Dogs (Tiger Woods Corolary)

I know what you're saying, you're saying, "Bellwether, as if there's a time when I'm NOT thinking of Hot Dogs!!," right?? Well, now all of that thinking of Hot Dogs is gonna pay off, because I'm proud to announce that yesterday, we got our first shipment of Let's Invent The Smell-O-Phone!! And you'd better believe that that baby is chalk full of Hot Dog action!! I mean, it'... ...

This just in: BREAKING HOT DOG NEWS

Dan has just procured for use for our EP RELEASE SHOW AKA CD RELEASE SHOW, the ÜBER™ HOTDOG STEAMER!!

ÜBER™ was the foremost maker of Hot Dog steamers in the 60's and 70's until the horrible summer of '75 when Son of Sam killed his neighbor's talking dog with one. (and that was some dog) ÜBER™ Hot Dog steamers were immediately taken off the market and only a few units were saved. Dan's mother-in-law risked life and limb hiding one in her attic to this day. Fortunately, Representative Madge Whilburz of the Great State of Delaware was able to push thru some legislation earlier this year revoking the ban on ÜBER™ Steamers, and we got one!!

Crude representation of how to use an ÜBER™ Steamer

SO, come one, come all to the EP RELEASE SHOW AKA CD RELEASE SHOW. We'll have fabolous raffles, Chrales Tunes all night, a new CD/EP to release, and all the Hot Dogs you can eat!! Just leave your talking dog at home.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

EPIC DRAFT PREVIEW

Ahoy-'hoy residents of Charles-ville!!

Apart from being a world class Fishingman, Dan is also an Avid collector of the sights and sounds of the Association aka the NBA aka Basketballs. Yet a bigger fan he is of said "Association"'s Minnesota Timberwolves, who hold the second pick in tonights NBA Draft. So what to do??

MUTHAFRAKKIN' TENDERLOIN ONION RING DRAFT PARTY


Dan's specialty when not serving up saucy drum licks to your face is serving up scrumptious tenderloins and onion rings into your face-skull. And he will do so tonight as we unwrap our recently delivered Let's Invent The Smell-O-Phone discs, fresh off the presses for our CD/EP RELEASE SHOW scheduled for NEXT FRIDAY.

And now, a breif interview with J re: discs & drafts:

BwJ - Yo, 'd we get th' disc's in??

J - My sister said the hotdog cd’s arrived this morning and the package smells like dead fish….i seriously hope the package is full of rotten sardines, this will confirm that I am in fact the star of the Truman show and the producer really hates me.

BwJ - Any predictions for the TENDERLOIN ONION RING DRAFT tonight??

J - I hope Jonnee Turner gets drafted first tonight; he’s really good at making basquets.

Didn't have the hart to tell him that young Jonnee died of a horse tranquilizer overdose last night. So young. So full of potential. It leaves a hole in your heart that can only be filled by onion ring tenderloins

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Dan: The New Songbird Of Our Generation

Proposed lyrics to RubensPaul:

VERSE
Can’t get it through my brain
Show’s cancelled and it’s over.
Can’t get it through the main
Street that’s in my mind.
They cancel all my shows
I got no entertainment.
You know it really blows
It’s time to complicate it.

CHOURUS
It’s time to clone a brand new station
I got all these TV sets encased in resin
Let’s all suck out the DNA, THE DNA!
Isn’t that the plot to Jurassic Park?

Jurassic Park..... Jurassic Park.


He's like a cross between Ted Turner and Lady Gaga, folks.

EARLIER

In Which Our Faithful Drummer Posits The Future Of Television, Demanding A Grassroots Scientific Revolution re: The Cancelling Of "Sports Show"

"We should just start our own television station and bring back Norm [MacDonald], and then cut Jon [Benjamin]'s show down to the best parts. I saw this movie once, I think it was called Wayne's World, where they cloned a television station by extracting dna from prehistoric TV's that had been preserved in resin. Maybe we could try that. Or maybe that was the plot to Jurassic Park. I need a nap."

- DAN

Also: THIS

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

EP RELEASE SHOW AKA CD RELEASE SHOW

Howdy from Charles-Burg!!

Prepare to set your phasers to Balls and Holy Balls, because...we have the date to our fabulouse CD RELEASE SHOW!! Now, I know it's a little trite this day in age -- what, with all the iPhods and XP3's and all hell you all probably downloaded Let's Invent The Smell-O-Phone directly into your gray matter or something already -- but we're doing it, so you'd better be there.

Plus, all the dude-ical artwork and hot dogs involved with the physical copy really ups the bitchin' level to like a thousand and five. In fact, you're guaranteed to be the coolest person in your family simply by having the CD version of Let's Invent The Smell-O-Phone on your person. And if your step-brother has one too, well fuck that dude. He always creeped me out anyways. But he should still totally come to the show, though.


Justin Bieber Popped Duster Collar Pizza Party, FTMFW


So Dude, the CD Release show is being held at CARL'S PLACE in Sherman Hill, the coolest bar in all of the corner of 16th and Woodland Ave in Sherman Hill (Des Moines, IA; totes).

And WHEN??

JULY 1st, POSER. I told you: BALLS and HOLY BALLS, right?? Not only is this a holiday weekend, consider it a PRE SHOW for the totally dude-ical 80/35 MUSIC FESTIVAL kicking off the next day only blocks away.

Show's at 8:00. Go tell your mother you're cool now.





Bellwether Johnson

updates:
Just got the show up on Quarter After 5 found here
Facebookers can view the event here
also their have been rumors circulating about free hot dogs, more info as soon as its available.

Friday, May 20, 2011

New Pictures UP


DO YOU LIKE PICTURES? WE PUT SOME NEW ONES UP, CHECK OUT OUR PHOTO TAB OR THE FLICKR STREAM TO THE RIGHT. I ALSO WATCHED SOME MUSIC VIDEOS TODAY AND REALLY ENJOYED THEM ALL EXPECT THE ONE FOR POISON'S TALK DIRTY TO ME, THAT MADE ME A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE, NOT SURE IF I SPELLED THAT RIGHT, JUST WANTED TO BLOG THAT.

SINCERELY

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Ep well on the way!

J here, we have a bunch of charles fun in the works merch wise most excitingly our newish ep goes out for production this saturday and should be pressed within a few weeks. We got together last night and did some photoshoots with hotdogs for the album art, this one should be a doozer. We're also working on getting a date locked in for a ep release party and are gonna do some serious pounding of pavement to make sure it is a show you wont forget, also getting stickers made and our first music video all in prep for the big release. Stay tuned.

Reminder the world ends on may 21st, if this occurs our EP release will be canceled until further notice.

Toodles,

J



Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Charles In Transit

Hey Charlistians, J here with a few quick words. The 3 of us have been busy bee's Chris and I have been in and out of town and busy signing checks and drinking fancy wine bottles full of wine all while balancing bats on our chin , Dan Has been practicing his fishing with hopes to quit the band and join the Pro Fish Circuit (PFC), we are keeping our finger crossed that he don't catch shit. in other words unlike last year we still got a drummer and we have been busy, but good news we are all refreshed and ready for a summer packed full of Musical Concerts and warm weather. In the next few weeks we'll be cleaning up the site and having a run of demo's, stickers and shirts pressed up so you can rep ghostie gear and music at bottom line prices after our music shows. So as we get the machine running again stop by a show and check us out and say hi, we will give you a moderate 5 and say back and maybe even something else, looking for to the heat and a ton o shows around Iowa and the midwest keep an eye out, we got a few springs shows lined up, see below or check out the links on the left for more details.

-This Saturday 4/16 we're opening the late show at the Mews in Des Moines with Slip Silo and Daphne Willis ...i wonder what she was saying right before this photo was taken?
-Sat 4/22 in Sioux City At Reds Pub
-5/14 at AK O'Connors in Beaverdale with the Big Tuxedos.


Above a Photo from the April 7th Music in Transit show Charles rocked last week, we had 13 folks/friends/musicians banging drums and playing instruments for the last few songs, thanks to all who were a part of it we had a lot of funs.

Remember your uncles,

j

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Show in Sioux City With the Coalminers!!!

Hey yalls J here, a brief post here before I hit the road for a Musical RV trek to Colorado with Dark Horse Patrol, We got a show comming up in Sioux City With an old friend of mine's band The Coalminers. The show is Friday April 22nd at Red Pierce Street Pub with time and such to be announced but just wanted to get out feelers so we can get some heads to the show and entertain yall for an evening, so if your gonna be in the Sioux that weekend get the word out. Theres a link to the event page under our Upcoming Shows or find us on facebook as we update details.

M

Monday, February 14, 2011

GDP, Tour Dates, Cleopatra


Greetings Yall, Josh here for the first time in a long time with a Charles update, first off big props to Bellweather J for taking the reins during my silence, more on this cat later first lets talk some band happenings. Regrettably i have sad news to start this jubilant post, our recent submission to Gross Domestic Product, which you may remember us talking about here, was sadly shot down in flames, big sad flames. Its not a big surprise for us as over 70 bands sent submissions and 10-15 get in but being told your not up to par sucks regardless especially when its something you put a ton of time and effort into, it'll be good motivation for us in the future to show that we belong on any stage, for instance Bacon Fest, maybe they will come calling , how bad could that be, if we have a bad show we get showered in bacon, that's like every good dream Ive had, maybe we should have just applied for that to begin with, never the less we will survive, side note: if anyone knows who's booking bacon fest email us the info at the contact tab above. Moving on...


Shows, we actually have some shows coming up, did ya hear did, did ya hear. This is not a lie true believer,


Saturday Feb 19th we kick things off at A K O'Connors in Beaverdale opening the night for the Big Tuxedos, we're sharing the bill and this one is all about fun, enjoy hoppy pints and listen to charles bust out a few new covers and watch Dan Juggle, if dan doesnt juggle everyone gets their money back guaranteed , 9 bells no cover, also we just got a bunch o shirts pressed for the occasion as well so come grab some charles apparel.




March 4th we have our 3rd appearance at Vaudeville Mews and our first time playing with our practice space roomies Love Songs for Lonely Monsters. This is going to be an awesome show but pegs us as the only band not sporting a lady in the lineup, i dont know exactly what the hell this means for us, but its true... so there...? Love songs and The Charles are playing in support of Toronto based Hunter Valentine and Vanity Theft from Ohio, who are currently touring together and melting stuff with their music, what are they melting maybe hearts maybe faces maybe everything which is kinda scary cause some stuff just dosent melt. Wear your party hats. 7 bones doors at 9:30




Thurs April 7th -Music in Transit-Vaudeville Mews, We're not playing a full set but everyone in the band will be in action at some point with the 3 of us playing a NMC tune or 2 as well with some guests. This is the second of these gigs put our by our friend Brian Waller and I, it should be a nice evening with 10 or so of our friends joining in throughout the night here and there for a mish mash of origional music a few old favorites. Doors 6:30 5 bones.




Friday April 22nd- Red Piece Street Pub- Sioux City- We head to northwest Iowa to play a Missouri river ho down with Sioux Citys own the Coalminers. Hoping to get a lot of heads out for this one and pack the place with a night of solid Acoustic Music and a loud Charles kick in the elbow. Time TBD no cover.


More on Cleopatra Merch and other fun to come, dan just got her and we're going to beat up gradeschoolers so i gotta go.

Magic is there when batterys are not,

Josh

Monday, February 7, 2011

Oh, La La!!

Howdy, fellow citizens of Charles-Stan!! I was told yesterday there was something called a "Super Bowl" on last night. Well, if there is such a thing, this is the first I've ever heard of it. The only "Super Bowl" that I know of is the "Super Bowl of Hot Chili Pie" currently sitting on my chest as I watch Morning Express With Robin Meade. I'm not really a fan of the Foot-Ball. Wake me up when Pakistan v West Indies: Antigua Test Match gets into day 2. You can't deny the hot Cricket action when the googilys start flyin'!! As they say: "Suck my Golden Duck"!! Bollocks!!

Speaking of Hot Chili Pie, look at this freaking website!!

You'll notice the gussied-up'ed-ness of the top of the page is complete with a brand new and exciting MEDIA PLAYER!! Now, you can listen to New Member Charles on your computer. But, that's not all!! You can also download the songs and subsequently place them on your hip new cellular phone. You can take your music with you!! I know!!

I've already added these instant classics onto my LG Chocolate. I don't know too much about technology, but I was able to set the ringtone to ring "Horse Collar" whenever my friend Chip calls. I haven't heard from him yet, but rest-assured, as soon as he gets back from getting his hair done and calls me back, I'll be sure to get Ruck'd the Fuck right out and forget to pick up my phone because all that I can do whenever I listen to Horse Collar is dance like an asshole!! At least, that's what my wife Julie South Johnson says I dance like.

In other Charles News, the guys assure me that they're getting ready to beat our brains outside of our skulls (like, musically) on February 19th at A.K. O'Connors in Beaverdale. They're readying the playlist as we speak, and are even going to add some new cover songs to the set. If you have any requests, you can shove them up your ass!! Well, maybe not. That's just what Chris told me when I offered to play the pan-flute for a cover of Bungle in the Jungle. (I swear I can make the pan-flute sound just like a real flute!!)

Still, just because my cover suggestion didn't make the cut doesn't mean that you shouldn't still make a suggestion. Just drop me a line (via the new 'Contact Info' tab at the top), and I'll be sure to pass it along to the guys.

RAWK!!,





Bellwether Johnson

Monday, January 24, 2011

Shelves!! And, also, Hi Charles!!

So, I've been getting a flood of mail here into Charles-ville in regard to the move the guys made, and I'm sorry for the late response, all of you!! I had to get a MRIcro-scope on the big toe on my left foot (and also the ring-finger toe on my right foot) due to over-exertion. See, I had joined a raquetball league as a NewYears Resolution. I lasted about three points into the second game, after sitting out a week after injuring my knee about three points into the first game. I lost a whole SIX POUNDS!! My final record was 0-2 on the season, but overall I was pleased with my effort. My wife, Julie South Johnson also baked me two pies for each one of my losses!! And it took me a whole three days to gain the weight back!! Success tastes great!! I can't wait to do it all again next year!!

On to the Charles-Biz!!:

As you know, Josh, Chris and Dan recently moved rehearsal spaces to a more adequate room for their needs (ie: one that wasn't cold as piss). This move was simply from one side of the hallway to the other, but it has left the multiple thousands of thousands of Charles fans around the world wondering, "What of Charles??"

Well, as we all know, Charles is the undead spectre-ghost who, instead of haunting, plays the giovanni keyboard in the awesomely dudical band New Member Charles. Now Charles' place of residence was the old rehearsal room, so the question remains, did Charles follow them into the new practice room??

You bet your sloppy ass he did!!

Just look at that new pic at the top of the page!! Josh was able to get Charles to pose for his new portriat in the new room as a welcome gift. I'm sure it was just like that scene in Titanic. You know the one...where Billy Zane is a dick (but is still kind of cool) and saves the day by strapping on the jetpack and flying everyone to safety. Of course, I have never seen the movie Titanic, but that's how my best friend Chip told me the movie ends. I ate too many Goobers and fell asleep during the previews. I remember thinking, "I can't wait to see Lethal Weapon 4!!" And I still can't wait!! Chip says it's great!!

Also, Dan Chris and Josh, along with their friend Eric totally built a complex shelving system in the new room to store drums on!! It's complex with two different levels of shelves. Due to my various lowerextremity conditions, I haven't been able to make it over there yet, but Chris assures me that if necessary, the shelves could hold half of my body weight!! That's engineering!!

The guys also took time out of their busy schudle of Rucking the Fuck out of all of you bitches to not only build shelves for the new room, but also to book a show!! That's right!! Multi-taskering!!

You can see New Member Charles at AK O'Connors in Beaverdale (oh, yeah!!) on February 19th with their good friends The Big Tuxedos!!

Gotta run...

Bye-zers!!,





Bellwether Johnson

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Shelves!! And, also, Hi GDP!!

A quick salutation to the members of the Des Moines Gross Domestic Product (GDP)/Indie-Rock-Special-Iowa-Bands-Playing-Rock-Music-Jamboroo-Festival for stopping by the blog today!!

You see, GDP is the "premier local showcase for Iowa bands." I told this to Dan, and he said, "duh...that's why we're applying to play there."

This is what I asked myself first: what would a premier showcase of Iowa music talent be without the most awesome ruckingist-fuckingist band featuring a fourth member that is also an undead spectre??

This is what I asked myself second: why would said band even need to apply, since they obviously wouldn't have a festival at all since all of the world-wide New Member Charles fans would instantaneously boycot the festival - therefore crashing the world economy - without New Member Charles' inclusion in said festival??

But, I guess in the interests of fairness, the proveyors of GDP insist that an official submission be made. Josh wanted me to write one up last night, but the rheumatoid arthritis in my carpal tunnels acted up, and I was unable to type or take my cat Muffles the Cat out for a walk (and let me tell you, I have the scratches and the cat dung to prove it!!)

So the guys went ahead and made their submission. And in the submission, they left a link to my fan blog!! Fortunately, I was able to rub enough orange peel on my joints this morning to type this salutation.

So, if the Executive Board of GDP Makers and the entire Selection Oversight Committee in Charge of Competition and Selection are able to walk or even still have a face after listening to New Member Charles for the first time (unlikely):


Hi, How Are You?


Well, all this excitement has left the third-knuckle on my left ring-finger the size of my knee after I tried to play raquetball last week and tripped over my showlace after my first serve...that's right!! Raquetball!! New Years Resolutions!!

And I didn't even get to tell you about the shelves that the guys made for the new rehearsal space last night!! Well, we'll leave that for another time. Right now I've got to go get some more orange-peel and then try to find Muffles the Cat. I think he's in the dryer again. Also, I'm probably gonna have to clean some cat dung out of the dryer.

Hi-zers!!,





Bellwether Johnson

Monday, January 10, 2011

New Rehearsal Room

Hidey-ho to y'all out there in Charles-Land!! Along with Charles-Land salutations today comes Charles-Land news!!

Last week, the guys let me know that they were moving to a new rehearsal spot. "Fear not," they told me, "we're just going down the hall, and assure you that any 'Ruck the Fuck' mojo is a product not of the room vibeage in-and-of-itself, but is more due to the near limitless supply of musical and philosophical talent that we as New Member Charles posess."

"Correct!!," I let them know!!

Turns out that the new spot is right accross the hall from the old spot, and the reason for the move was two-fold.

1.) Why the fuck not
2.) Lack of insulation left the old room cold as piss

So, the guys asked me to come out and help them move equippo and then sound-proof the new room. I fear I wasn't much help, as my portly frame precluded my entrance into the new room without the use of a crowbar, and the dust gussied up by the equippo move aggrivated my prior-to dormant case of Lung Gingivitis (one of the more uncomfortable strands of Gingivitis)

Well, needless to say, the move went great and also it went witout a hitch. I hope the guys didn't mind me being there . In fact, when it came down to it, they were glad they had me around, as they were able to test the sound-proofing by putting me in the center of the room and locking the door while I wheezed uncontrolably. I guess all that sound-proofing work worked, becuase it was so quiet outside they forgot that I was even in there. Didn't matter to me though as the complex's vending maching is right next to the room, and I had enough quarters to buy the machine out of Famous Amos cookies prior to lockdown.

To my relief, Chris and Dan came back the next day to measure the room for some storage shelving which they will put together tomorrow with my help!! I just hope the sawing of shelf units goes better than the last time I tried to use a saw when I was fourteen...at least that's what my mom says. I to this day contend that Muffles the Cat enjoyed the rest of his life without a tail. Gave him personality, ya know??

Wheeee!!,





Bellwether Johnson

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

It's Time to Come Clean

Folks, It's time for me, Bellwether Johnson, to be honest with you, the humble denizens of CharlesLand. *sigh* The sound escaping my lungs that I just typed out for journalistic effect is the sound of sorrow and regret for mis-leading the throng of Charles faithful that have been habitating the fluid of the interweb in-and-around the blog of the greatest band in the world: New Member Charles. It is with great aplomb (I don't really know what that word means) that I inform you that I, Bellwether Johnson, faithful Charles scribe, is not who you think he is. No, I am not a "true" member of New Member Charles. I'm not even a "kind-of" member of the band, as my many column inches published on this site might suggest.

No, many of you out there, I am not Chris: awesome bass-ist and all-around lover extrordinaire. I am not Dan: master of the rythm snare, and soul crunching cymbal-boss. And, nay am I Josh: you know, the other dude. No, I'm just a lonely bastard typing along on his laptop, listening to bootlegged copies of the classic Charles hits Jokey Smurf Box and Kitty Cat.

But!! To my great aplomb, the band has learned of my website tribute to them, and they *Yeeee* LOVE IT!! I KNOW!! Now, Josh has been posting on this here site becuase I had been writing, asking for his Charles-pinion (that's a Charles opinion) on certain topics by posing as a hot sexy momma, for which he was powerless to do anything but respond.

Now, this is great, great news. And we'll be sure to have great, great news in the future. But for now, I have to go. My wife says if I type any more about New Member Charles, I might actually turn into New Member Charles.

HUZZAH!!

Your New Member Charles "GHOST"(!!!) Writer,





Bellwether Johnson