Sunday, September 19, 2010

New Member Charles Investigates the Death of Charles vol 1

As the world now knows Charles is the Keyboard player and multi instrumentalist 4th member of our band, much akin to Jay Bennett of Wilco fame, although charles is a ghost, but so is Jay Bennett so it was a better comparison then i thought. Anywho we dont know how Charles came to be eg. how he Died and he wont disclose his real last name so we have no way to know who he really was when he was in the flesh, So perodically we will post an acutal story of someone named charles who has died and has similar traits to our band member in hopes to unlock the secret that drives us, "Who is New Member Charles".
This Week: The Death of Charlie Garbenstanch

Could this Inspirational dead musician be our keyboard playing ghost?


September 26nd 2002 Charlie Garbenstanch had just finished playing a set at the montgomery blvd Applbee's in Alburquerque. Applebee's, known nationwide for there senseable prices on american quisine and for there monsterous 17 oz beers known as the brutus, was among Charles's favorite place to play his prized Giovanni keyboard. He did not know though, that this gig of watered down 80's pop and 17oz beers would be the last he would ever play thanks to the pastime of the sinister known only as murder. Charlie had just closed his set with a version of bicycle racer by queen and was collecting his tips for the night while taking down a refreshing 17 oz miller lite and munching on an order of dynamite shrimp , Plump, succulent shrimp coated in crispy panko bread crumbs and fried, then tossed in a spicy sauce all for 6.69, but on this night they were on the house, AND HE WAS ABOUT TO BE ON THE GROUND ....DEAD.

Indiana- "Just a baby sip dad!"
Sean Connery- "Ive already had 7 Brutus's Junior and my liver is madder than a kentucky bull."

After packing his gear into his back pack he got on his razor scooter around 1:46 am and began his trek home, but he wouldnt make it. By 1:58 he had made to the intersection of la Charles and Bermuda where authorites believe he lost control of his razor scooter and hit a parked car at speeds exceeding 8 mph. Hurt badly and in a drunken brutus stuper he walked along the road looking for help making it to the corner of tracy and la charles around 2:13 am when he was hit by a street sweeper and dragged to the 4100 block of shenandoah, he then laid for approximatly 56 minutes before being ran cleanly over at 3:18 am by a beautiful 2001 maroon pt driven by a 93 year old male who asked not to be identified. Charlie Garbenstanch then promtly died around 3:19, the cause of Charles's death was ruled to be multiple impacts involving non pc modes of transportation. Seen below are actual snap shots of the crime scene taken by a detective in a trenchcoat.


A lesson learned, if your going to drink more then 1 Brutus, leave the scooter and take a tuk tuk

A map of Charles's last moments click for direct link.

Is this our charles? Maybe, he is one of 4 people to ever own a giovanni key board, he has a penchant for substance abuse, loves razor scooters, his name is charles, and most importantly he's dead under tragic circumstances, which is a perfect reason for him not to go on to the after life. He's probably stuck here forced to live as a spectre who parties and plays muisic, left searching for that perfect gig that will allow him to move on to the next life. Until then he's gonna be chucking beef jerky with our rockin arses. Is this charles? We may never know, until Charles confirms his identity we'll keep searching, stay tuned for the next edition of "New Member Charles Investigates : the Death of Charles".
Forgive your children,
J

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