Sunday, July 4, 2010

Tour Guide: KANSAS CITY, MO

Greetings and Salutations, it is J here with the first of many New Member Charles Tour Guides. These guides will be submitted before our upcoming shows to let our thousands of adoring fans know what the haps on the craps is in the respective cities/areas where are shows are at. Our first stop brings us to Kansas City where we will be playing our first live show together at none other than Winslow’s BBQ, located in the city market area of downtown Kansas City. First some back ground on Kansas City also know as The City of 3 Breezes…

History
Kansas City, was founded in 1972 by Jimmi Smits (know for his LA Law fame) as a land trade done by the hippies in exchange for a bag of marbles and a fried pork tenderloin sandwich.


Obama: "Thats a good knock knock Jimmi"
Smits: "Of course it is I founded Kansas City"

Smits, only 18 at the time, saw the potential of the land and was encouraged by the fertile soil, beautiful rivers and abundance of Native American cursed land which allowed for the deal to go through cheaply, this can also explain why the current sports teams seem to have a hex on them. Seen poltergeist...i thought so... watch out for clown dolls! Initially named Worlds of Fun by Smits, the town went on to abandon the name 4 years later due to the increasing popularity of the band Kansas. In tribute to Smits, for founding the city, an Amusement park/ museum was opened then known as Smits’s Worlds of Fun, now knowN as Worlds of Fun as a result of Smits Joining the cast of LA law rather then the failed pilot Kansas City Law. The town has also since denounced Smits and its people are forbidden to speak of him, Smits also has chosen to denounce them by appearing first three Star Wars movies, they could care less, they have the Royals.



When founded, the town had a population of 15 settlers and in the 28 years since inception KC has grown to a population of over 65 thousand. Over the years a lot of neat neat things have happened there, but none of those are important because you fair reader have only 1 thing on your mind….food…do they have food in Kansas City? How much is it? Can I buy it anywhere? Do I need a medical card to buy food in Kansas City? Rest easy this will all be covered.

Food: Kansas City is widely know for its BBQ and lets face it, we all love some BBQ, so I’ve decided to skip the BBQ joints, due to the fact that there is 26.5 BBQ restaurants per city block in KC (short for Kansas City)heck we’re playing at a BBQ joint so plan on eating there and during the day go right for what Kansas city should be know for, good old fashioned Fast Food. I will cover the top three selections I feel Kansas City has to offer.



Foods


1. McDonalds : 4002 North Oak Trafficway location. This location has really good burgers. (that’s short for hamburger) And they recently got a new trash can, which is exciting.






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2. Burger King : 1102 Emanuel Cleaver II blvd location. This location also has really good burgers, and lots of seating.






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3. McDonalds: 6305 northeast Antioch rd location: You think, what??? Mcdonalds again?? Well piss and moan all you want but you’ll be a warm lump of bliss once you have one of their shakes, burgers are really good here too.






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Sights and Attractions:


Ok so KC has some pretty dope food.... I got rotgut now, what do I do next Charles? This one is easy my friends you say screw everything, museums, cemeteries, wood factories….blah blah boring and go right for it ….Smits’s….er rather just plain simple Worlds of Fun. Its technically a museum so you will sound refined and on those hot KC summer days (ave temp 142 degrees Celsius) you needs to kool off with a balloon shaped lemonade and some rollercoaster fun. And Afterword why not hit up one of the restaurants listed above to build a base for a gut full of ghost infused emo sports rock.Add Image



The Scarey Coaster- A death defying 26 foot drop


Directions:

If you coming from out of town get on a major interstate or road and drive till you see a sign for Kansas City, if you see signs that don’t say Kansas City try another diection.

New Member Charles
Live at Winslow’s BBQ- SAT July 10th 2010 7:00 PM
20 East 15th street KC, MO

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