Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Hump Day Moustache: World Cupdate Edition


I know you all are just like us over here at NMC, just getting over the jingoistic hangover of The US's (you-ESS-izz [??]) EPIC winning of the 2010 FIFA World Cup!! And EPIC it was!!

The US carried home the Koman Coulibaly Trophy in stunning fashion by beating the unbeatable Russians 12-11 in what's already known as the Greatest Fuuht-bowl Match of all times!! And also forever!! The Russians hadn't been beaten in TWENTY-FIVE YEARS!!

The big star of the match was Landon Donovan, who scored a fifth quarter hat trick, and then re-married his estranged wife on the podium during the trophy presentation, even though he was proabaly already still married to her because that's what People Magazine told everyone. He then went on to totally not impregnate any young tramps whilst playing for Manchester Hotspurrsenal United Liverpool club team in England last summer.

So bully for you lads (soccer slingo for 'super-duper sweet brah!!')!! Here, in honor of your World Cup Title, is this guy (and his moustache):

The only thing I like more than US Pu**sy

"Super Dud-ical" Charles UPDATE:

I know many of you out there in Charles-burg are restlessly waiting for our webcam show to hit the intranets. Well, it seems that we had a few unforseen SNAFUs along the way. We got some excellent video last night, but the audio ended up sounding like doo-doo. J is gonna waive his magic edit wand over the footage and come up with something. Or we might just set the whole thing to the Ghostbusters song, you know...just to show Charles who's boss.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Balls!! No, Like HOLY BALLS!!

BIG week here at NMC. We got a special super-awesome dude-ical (yes, dude-ical. That's how big this is) frikkin' sweet (wait for it...)


I know!! At least that's what I think you're supposed to call it. We're gonna set up some web-cams (that's slingo for web-cameras) in Dan's basement, and play our music, and then post it on line. When?? Who knows. Considering it takes us upwards of about two hours to figure out how to change the font on this here blog, it might take us a while to get the whole "uploading content" thing down. But, rest assured, when we do, it will be all like, "Dude!!," and we'll be all, "I know!!"

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Hump Day Moustache 6/23/2010

It's that time of the week again, this week we have a photo of Dan in 2006 at a Ravi Shankar concert in Indianola. Dan spent 14 years growing this mustache and in a recent interview with a fake publication that interviewed us, he said it made him feel quote " God like". - J

I once caught a cold....this big

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Ghost Hunters Royal Mile edition:

6/22/2010- Dan Chris and Josh here writing from the Locust Tap on the specter that stalked us at the bands last Visit to the royal mile with guest Photographer Brother Bart. We were sipping high gravity ales and talking about times past when Bart decided to take a pic pic (facebook talk for picture). Upon going back to the New Member Charles greenroom to develop our new exposures an eerie feeling struck us all as we inhaled the developing solution and huffed paint. There it was...the ghost of Al Capone. See picture below.

There is an eerie haze above that we tested with our ekg meter that is undeniably the spirit of one Alfonze Capone. You can tell by the Italian look of his haze that he travels on which is in the center of the picture above. It was then we decided to research this phenomenon so we headed to the local library to pick up the 2006 edition of the Toban's spirit guide which features a whole section on the ghosts of overweight gangsters with std's. We discovered AL had been living in Des Moines for over 20 years due to the low housing costs and abundance of work for people in their afterlife. We decided to ask Charles if he had any encounters with Al's ghost and to our surprise he told us that Al is apart of his side metal project Maggot Empire and plays a mean theremin. Charles mentioned he could get us a sit down and bam 2 days later there we were face to face at a bar with the man himself Ghost Al Capone drinking beers and telling jokes about people he killed with bats and then ran back into in the after life. We had drinks, we laughed, we shared storys it was truly a night Chris Dan and I will never forget.



Monday, June 21, 2010

Hey, So Here's A New Picture

Pretty cool, huh??

Dan:I think a squirrel is coming down the alley. Josh: Aww-Shucks (Jorts).

So, you may be asking yourself, "Hey, aren't there like three people in the band?? And what of Charles, the fourth member?? You know, the ghost who lives in the rehearsal space and plays the Giovanni keyboard??" Well, it just so happens that this picture was taken on June 3rd, and while I know that the rest of America was mourning the passing of Rue McClanahan on that date, Charles was busy trying to get frolicsome with the newly-spectre'd Ms. Blanche Devereaux. This left myself as the only one to hold the camera, and therefore miss an opportunity to look dour and staid in front of a half-tagged stone wall.

Also, Charles was not successful in his badonka-quest:

"What a cocktease. You'd think with how frisky she was on that show, she'd want a little action. Bummer. Supposed to go swimming with Jeff Buckley later this week...said Natalie Wood might come along. Fingers crossed!!"


OK, so we do have some things in the Charles-hopper this week. We wrote two new songs (I know!!) of which we should have demos this week, along with the afore-mentioned Horse Collar. Things are also creeping closer to our triumphant debut in KC on July 10th, so we're hitting it two times a week till then. We still need some lyrics, so send your good vibeage our way.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Hump Day Moustache: 06/16/2010

I know it's been a little quiet on the Charles front this past week. Does this mean that nothing has been going on in Charles-land?? *pfft* PLEASE!! We just haven't been able to get all of the exciting things off our mind and onto the canvas that is the obscure land of the "Band in Des Moines, Iowa" blogosphere. Rest assured, we'll have you up and excited for all (??) soon. In the meantime, here's a special edition of the HDM.

You've all seen this logo show up here in the past. Well, Josh did a little handy-work and gussied up the prettyness factor of said logo. LOOK!! what you call "Kick Ass"

On top of this, Charles wanted to get into the moustache-friendly action 'round these parts. He was so excited about the Norris sighting, that he vowed to, quote, "Kick the shit outta him, moustache-style." Well, I don't know about that, Charles...I mean, have you even heard about Chuck Norris' supernatural abilities to do things that seem impossible?? Somebody told me that when the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks under the bed for Chuck Norris. SCARY!!

Well, not one to be outdone by any of the other members of the group, here's Charles gettin' his Dali on:

I dare say...those clocks do seem a bit sloth-like
So there's you're HDM for this week. Enjoy. And watch out for Chuck Norris, Charles. I hear that he sleeps with a pillow under his gun!! And that seems totally true and rational!!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Hump Day Moustache

New Feature time here on NMC. It's wednesday. The middle of the work-week. Not all of us can have fun roaming the nether-world as a spectre hell-bent on finding cheap twinkies like our ghostly friend and band-mate Charles. That's why we've come up with a new little feature created to inspire the lot of you out there in the doldrums of cubicle-land.

And who better to appear in the innagural NMC HDM than the man with perhaps the greatest moustache in the history of moustaches...


Chuck Norris' moustache is just like everybody else's moustache, except that it is somehow super-human in a comically unexpected way!!


Tuesday, June 8, 2010

This Week in Charlestown

We wrote a new song!! It's called HORSE COLLAR. Why?? Because that name (like the song it entitles) is totally kick-ass. Plus it works on multiple levels, like:

"Oh, snap!! I done been snatched at from behind (emotionally, by this totally kick-ass music)"


Or, it can work on a level like: "I am completely cloistered, and reigned in (emotionally, by this totally kick-ass music)"

Josh totally wants to poop thru this horse collar...ok, so do I

So, there you go. Your Charles update for the week. HORSE COLLAR ALL UP ON YOUR FUCKING ASS!!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

We Will Be the (Credit Score) Icons of Our Generation

Guys!! We're so gonna be famous!!

We all know there are three different kinds of fame:

1.) Sleeping with Madonna Fame

2.) Getting Punched in the Cock by Danny Bonaduce Fame

and, the most important, exciting kind of fame there is:


Pirate Hats!! Or Something!!

You remember those guys who are on the TV all the time for, singing some annoying song that you can't really remember, but just now got out of your stupid head?? That could totally be us!!

That website is doing a nation-wide search for the next band to annoy the crap outta you. Our qualifications are, I think, quite obvious. First off, we are a band. One of the very best in the entirity of Central Iowa, in fact. No. 2: we don't just know credit, we are virtually experts. In fact, just this past weekend, Charles was in the netherworld playing ghost-cards with Dennis Hopper and Abraham Lincoln. (Little known fact: Abraham Lincoln...degenerate gambler)

A gut-shot straight draw divided against itself cannot stand

Well, one thing led to another, and Charles ended up with ole' Hopper's Visa Platinum card. WOO HOO!! If that doesn't qualify us to sing on the teevee about the importance of credit, I dont' know what does. PLUS: we can use Hopper's card to buy new Shamwows!! THAT'S RESPONSIBLE LENDING.

So, when we write our masterpiece, we'll be sending all of you NMC fans E-Mails to go online and vote the crap outta us, which will be just about as annoying as hearing songs during commercials for Ace of Cakes.

Just do your part because I don't think any of us will want to sleep with Madonna.